oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
