the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
