Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
