Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
