I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
