that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
