Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
