this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
