Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
