my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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