I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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