Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
