Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize