I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
