I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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