But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
