She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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