i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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