Welp...herpes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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