I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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