Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
