I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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