I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
