My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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