No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
