Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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