We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
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Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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