oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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