Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
