saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
