Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
