I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
