he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
barbara walters just said penis...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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