I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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