He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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