i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Small penises have feelings too.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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