So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
