What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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