Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
