Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
