He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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