..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
