It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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