Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
