I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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