So drunk its hurt
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
