i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
