You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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