I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
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he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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