sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
