just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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