Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize