I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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