Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize