That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
