Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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