i think my tv is drunk
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
