Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
